


Star Wars The Vine Wars

by MegaLia



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: But no one dies, Clone Wars, Comedy, Crack, Fun, Gen, HoloNet, Memelord Ahsoka and her apprentice Anakin, Memes, Nothing Hurts, Yoda is a Troll, clones are the best, everyone is happy, except for Mace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-02-08 01:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21467743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaLia/pseuds/MegaLia
Summary: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away reigned by the war between the republic and the separatists, Mr. tall, dark and handsome Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker and his super sweet, but super bad ass Padawan Ashoka Tano are spreading the all mighty power of the Vine in an attempt to battle the bleakness of war.Their self-appointed mission is long and harsh and dangerous. Will they overcome all the hardships in the end and spread laughter throughout the galaxy or will they succumb to the fearsome scowl of one Mace Windu?Only the force knows – and of course this piece of fiction right here but that's also the will of the force.
Comments: 57
Kudos: 276





	1. The forces of evil come together and it is not Mace Windu's problem

**Author's Note:**

> I've been watching too many “Star Wars Characters as Vines” videos and now I'm going to put them in a story.
> 
> For the sake of that we just assume that Vines, Memes and Challenges – though it's not something the Jedi, or the more sophisticated population, indulge in in their free time.
> 
> The things Anakin and Ashoka (and some other chosen Characters) do in this story are all taken from existing vines, memes or challenges that are not mine and the credits belong to the respective creator.  
I only change some minor details to fit the Vines more into the Star Wars Universe. 
> 
> Oh and Anakin and Ashoka have a kind of YouTube channel because lets be honest, that would be so awesome *_*
> 
> This story is obviously crack and not to be taken serious and features: 
> 
> \- Obi-Wan Cannot Be  
\- A yeeting Yoda (because he's cool and totally connects with the youth these days)  
\- Mace 500%-done Windu  
\- Our Homies the Clonies
> 
> Have fun ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably the most serious Chapter in this work ^^'

War was a horrible thing, really. Victims of war are constantly drowned in waves of guilt, regret, and pain. Pain isn't simple; it's physical, emotional, and mental; all victims of war feel all three types. In war, nowhere is safe. Nowhere.

The war had raged on for so long already that it was almost hard to imagine what life was like without war. What did the world feel like without all the corruption, death and destruction?

War was a treacherous thing, even for the highest trained individuals. Soldiers, generals and Jedi alike weren't unaffected by the war. There was so much chaos and suffering, even at night. Sometimes you couldn't find sleep because of the enemy attacking or simply because the deaths of thousands of innocent people who's death you couldn't prevent because you were to slow or because you just didn't have the time to safe them.

Ahsoka Tano wasn't an exception.

In her young years as a Padawan - not even a Jedi Knight and already sent to the front lines - she had seen so much horrors. Families being torn apart, famine and people living in inhuman conditions while others didn't even know what to do with their wealth. Cities and sometimes even whole worlds being destroyed, eradicating memories and loved people from existence.

And death.

More than enough times she saw clones from their troops or innocent people die. Most of them probably just wanted to get away from the war, to protect their families, to protect themselves. Sometimes it was her life on the line, or her masters life or even her masters masters life. They were, all of them, reckless beyond reason and more times than not just a hair's width away from deaths cold clutches.

But Ahsoka was strong. She had to be with a master like the Chosen One who attracted trouble like a magnet. She wouldn't let war get to her no matter what, because if she let it catch up to her and engulf her in it's icy clutches then she wouldn't be able to bring an end to it anymore.

Because, another aspect of fighting in a war was protecting those innocents that were caught up in the fight. She wasn't proud of the war and would gladly life in a world without it but she was a Jedi. Not a Knight but still a protector of peace and that gave her the strength to power through because for every soul they lost they also saved thousands of lives. That was what kept her going.

Oh, and of course HoloTube.

Whenever Ahsoka wasn't busy with the all consuming war, her super duper boring Jedi studies or training with her master, she was scrolling through _HoloTube_. The possible best site on the HoloNet in her opinion.

What better way to relax than watching other people at their first attempts of building a droid or cooking something delicious or just simply doing stupid things. It was a whole universe of videos that made Ahsoka feel a bit more like a normal human being and not a soldier in a war. It helped her forget the horrors of war for just a few more moments and created a safe space to retreat to when everything got too much.

There was one thing in particular she absolutely adored and couldn't get enough of. It was something called _Vines_. A 7 second video of people doing completely random stuff. They were hilarious and Ahsoka just couldn't stop scrolling through them. She was having so much fun and could already recite some of those vines by heart. People were so clever.

Today was one of those days where she had a lot of down time and she planned to spend that time watching said vines.

Well at least after she had finished the last of her classes. Right now she was being held hostage in galactic history a.k.a the most boring subject _ever_. Well galactic history wasn't actually that boring when she read about it on her own but because of the same reason classes was boring. Mainly because she had already read further ahead of the syllabus and was bored hearing the same stuff she already knew over and over again.

But it was thanks to this boredom that Ahsoka came up with the _absolute best_ idea she ever had and all she needed for that was a camera and a partner in crime. Good thing he knew where to get both of those things.

* * *

On that same day in another part of the Jedi temple a cold shudder ran down one particular Jedi. It was warning him about the forces of evil coming together and plotting to destroy his carefully crafted peace.

“Is something the matter, Master Windu?”

As soon as the feeling had come it was already gone again. 

The Jedi Master shook his head at the Younglings question instead and continued on with their Saber lessons.

It was probably just Skywalker doing something reckless again and therefore Kenobi's problem. Or at least he hoped it would stay Kenobi's problem. His nerves were to precious to keep on loosing them.


	2. The power of Dabbing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashoka and Anakin introduce the Jedi temple to Dabbing.

It was a normal day in the life of Obi-Wan Kenobi - well as normal as life gets in an intergalactic war - when he first saw it.

He knew Anakin and Ahsoka were planning something.

Not that he saw anything explicit that would point to that knowledge but he had a seventh sense for that kind of stuff.

Why, just yesterday he saw Ahsoka and Anakin leave the senate building. Now that wasn't anything concerning per se. Maybe they were visiting Padmé or someone wanted their help with something, who knows. Obi-Wan was there because his friend Bail had asked for advice on a more personal matter so absolutely nothing suspicious in them being there as well.

It's just the fact that while they were leaving they were whispering and giggling like little kids.

There was also the fact that as soon as they spotted Obi-Wan the giggling stopped and two faces of perfect neutrality slipped on their faces. Obi-Wan of course had to ask what they were doing there because _suspicious_. Though to that Anakin just deflected and asked Obi-Wan that same question.

Obi-Wan knew that if there was something Anakin didn't want him to know that Anakin wouldn't tell him, so he just had to hope for the best. And pray that whatever their plan was it wouldn't end in total chaos and that it wouldn't involve him.

Right now though he couldn't do anything else but sit down, relax, meditate and hope for the best. They weren't on a mission right now so at least whatever they were planning would not cause a diplomatic disaster by disrespecting some other species. Or worse get themselves in danger because of their stupid ideas.

Obi-Wan sighed as he stood up from his spot on the floor next to the window in his apartment. His concentration was disturbed anyway so might as well get up and face the day.

It was later that day, during lunch to be exact, when he saw the first glimpse of their plan.

Obi-Wan was just about to take a bit when Anakin appeared in his peripheral vision.

“Hey Obi-Wan,” he said in excitement making the latter stop in his process of consuming his food.

“You see this bottle?”

Nodding with suspicion he raised an eyebrow at his former Padawan almost daring him to do something stupid.

Anakin did not disappoint.

He grabbed the bottle by its neck and with one smooth flick of his wrist he let the bottle flip into the air before it landed perfectly upright on the table.

Anakin wasn't finished though.

Instead he rose an elbow, tucked his head into said elbow while simultaneously raising and extending his opposite arm to the side.

There was a loud “Whoop” from somewhere else in the room and if Obi-Wan hadn't been so distracted he would have identified it as Ahsoka's.

Obi-Wan did not notice it though because he was still trying to grasp what just happened. Anakin also didn't really help much with that seeing as he quickly retreated with Ahsoka in tow, the two laughing like a pair of hyenas and looking at something in Ahsoka's hand.

Obi-Wan looked around the room to check if he was the only one not getting it but was quickly reassured in that sense. Master Mundi and Healer Che, the only ones close enough to have noticed the happenings, looked just as lost as Obi-Wan.

He sighed and shook his head. No reason thinking about it. Maybe he could ask Anakin later. He couldn't let his food get could after all. Maybe after that he'd do some meditation. Yes, that sounded like a solid plan.

* * *

The next victim was none other than Mace Windu.

Now the Jedi Master was having a lovely day.

For once all sides in this war had decided to not do anything stupid today. There were no threats to senate members, no destruction of some unfortunate planet and no battles in space if the reports of the generals in the outer-rim could be believed.

Mace did trust them so today he could finally get some peace.

His usual lessons with the younglings went just as well. Each and every one of them had been at peek attention today and there were no unforeseen accidents. It was almost as if everyone had just collectively decided to give Mace one day of galactic peace.

Of course Skywalker had to ruin it.

Alright, maybe he was being a bit to harsh. It's not like the boy had done anything bad. Most of the times it was enough for him to just be in Mace's general vicinity for the Jedi Master to develop a headache.

Today though he wasn't really sure what he should feel.

Mace was just about to walk to the room of the thousand fountains when the young Skywalker crossed his path. Literally crossed because the boy was definitely not looking where he was going and the two of them crashed together.

Now Mace had very good reflexes so nothing further happened but there was a sudden loud clang. Mace followed Anakin's look and was surprised to see the head of a droid roll around their feet.

“Skywalker what-”

But before he could finish his sentence he was interrupted by Skywalker stretching his left arm out towards the side, while simultaneously bringing up the elbow of his right hand and tucking his head in it.

That was it.

He didn't say anything after that. Just picked up the droid's head and strode away, leaving behind a thoroughly confused Jedi Master.

“What just happened?”

He suddenly felt the presence of a certain Padawan and wanted to grab the girl but she was already running at top speed towards where Skywalker had made his quick exit.

A hefty sigh left Mace's throat as he continued on towards his actual destination. There was a pounding in his head that need immediate attention because it was slowly destroying his carefully crafted peace.

_Remember Mace: There is no emotion, there is peace._

* * *

When Master Plo Koon agreed to little Ahsoka's request to spar he had thought nothing of it.

The eager Padawan seemed bored enough, because her Master was out somewhere and therefore she couldn't pin him down for a quick session.

Not currently being engaged in an active battle in the ongoing war, Plo Koon was quite pleased with a friendly match that didn't decide over life and death.

There also wasn't anything really he could deny little Ahsoka because she was a precious Padawan and in his opinion way to young to fight in a war like this but at the same time too skilled to be missing from it.

In retrospect though he had the inkling that Ahsoka had an ulterior motivation for the sparing matches, even though he couldn't exactly pin point what it was.

It went like this:

They were in the middle of the third round of their friendly sparring.

Ahsoka had lost both of them, even though she came very close to disarming Plo Koon in the second match. Still, Plo Koon had a bit more experience so he could quickly regain his balance and powered on.

Now Plo Koon had her backed up against the wall, his saber raised high, both of them breathing from the continued exhaustion and that's when it happened.

She brought up her saber hand and tucked her face into the crook of its elbow while simultaneously stretching out and raising her other arm up and to the side.

Plo Koon was so confused that he let down his defense for a short moment. That moment was enough for Ahsoka to strike out and make quick work in disarming him.

She gave an excited shout.

“It worked, Skyguy!”

“I knew you could do it,” a second male voice echoed back from the entrance of the training room where none other than Anakin Skywalker stood, holding a HoloCam.

“What is going on?”

“I just won our last match with the power of dabbing.”

“The what?”

“Dabbing,” Ahsoka explained as if it was obvious and did that strange move again. Plo Koon turned around in search of an explanation from Anakin but said Jedi just repeated Ahsoka's move and disappeared from the room.

Ahsoka was quick to follow but not before bowing her head in respect and a shout over her shoulder.

“Thanks for the sparring, I feel way better now, Master Plo!”

And gone was the quirky Togruta, following after her Master.

“Well, that certainly was strange.”

* * *

At the end of the Week, HoloTube had a new channel added to it's collection called “_MayTheVineBeWithYou_”.

It was new and had only a few followers.

That was to change with the addition of the Channels first video titled: “_The power of Dabbing_”.

“Snips,” said the Jedi Knight from where he sat in front of the Datapad and turned towards the Padawan beside him, “this may have been one of the best ideas you've had so far.”

Said Padawan just shrugged with a smug smirk.

“Why, thank you, Skyguy, but I already know that I'm a genius.”

“I wouldn't go that far.”

“Well you certainly didn't come up with the idea.”

The Jedi Knight smiled as he patted his Padawan's back.

“Alright you genius, what is our next plan then?”

“Have you ever heard of “The floor is lava”?”


	3. The floor is lava

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka, Anakin and the Clones play the floor is lava.

Even though Ashoka wanted to make their channel about Vines and everything alike, she also didn't want to _only_ post videos of one sort. Viewers could easily be bored, she said, so she decided to add challenges as well.

Anakin was completely gone for that idea seeing as he was one of the most competitive person Ashoka knew, next to her of course.

So the first challenge she introduced to him was “The floor is Lava”. A really funny game were one shouts the “The floor is lava” and everyone in their vicinity has to get off the floor one way or another within 5 seconds.

But it would be boring if it was just the two of them and probably not something their viewers would want to watch. So they thought who could they play it with and quickly found their comrades-in-crime in the 501st.  
  


“You want us to do _what_ now?” Rex asks, disbelieve coloring his voice as he raised one perfect eyebrow and mustered Ashoka.

“You heard her,” Anakin said in a totally serious voice, “this is a good training to keep you on your toes and sharpen your reflexes.”

“By avoiding the floor when someone shouts that the floor is Lava.”

“Yes”

Rex was not impressed. His Bullshit detector was going off in warning.

“What is actually going on?”

Anakin and Ashoka caved in pretty quickly.

“We made a HoloTube Channel and want to upload some challenge videos but it would be a bit boring if it's just Ashoka and me.”

Anakin played with open cards because, to be honest, he hadn't counted on holding up their charade for very long anyway. He also knew his troopers. They were so used to their crazy ideas that there's hardly anything anymore that they wouldn't agree to do.

Rex didn't disappoint.

“Could've said that from the beginning,” the captain grumbled but there was a smile gracing the corner of his lips. “Alright, we're in. What are the rules?”

Damn he really loved his Squad.

* * *

The rules went as followed:

1\. Every participant has to be off the floor with both feet within 5 seconds. Whoever is not able to do that is immediately disqualified and has to burn in the lava - like actually pretend to be burning, because it would be fun for everyone involved.  
  


2\. Everyday there will be one “_Chosen One_” who will give the command. Said person does not have to abide to rule 1 but has to film the other participants.  
  
  
3\. No two people on the same surface.  
  


4\. The "_Chosen One_" can give the command at any time that day whoever often they seem fit. Except if they are in a fight, on a mission or in any other dangerous situation.  
  
  
5\. The Use of the force is strongly prohibited.  
  


6\. The winner gets the right to brag for one week without anyone being allowed to interrupt them.  
  
  
7\. The game does not have a time limit and goes on until there's only one person left.

* * *

Obi-Wan had a bad feeling.

Ever since _the week_ he was wary of Anakin and Ahsoka. After the initial confusion of Anakin's behavior had worn off he decided to investigate _The Plan_. Also because several other Jedi Masters had informed him about his former Padawan and said Padawans own Padawan acting strange.

Well it was mostly Mace stating that Skywalker was planning something stupid and that he was not amused.

Obi-Wan had to admit though that he was a bit concerned as well. It was one thing if those strange happenings involved Obi-Wan and another if the two youngsters had already broadened their victim range.

His investigations though weren't easy. Ahsoka and Anakin weren't stupid and knew how to delete their traces.

(Not that they were actively trying to hide what they were doing but Obi-Wan just couldn't see the connection.)

  
Another factor aggravating his investigations was of course the war. Said war did not allow for long periods of rest and kept them apart more often than not.

Right after _the week_ Obi-Wan was sent on a mission to Bestine IV for negotiations. Nothing complicated really, seeing as the folks of Bestine were already quiet sure about joining the republic just not on what conditions and everything. He had still spent almost a whole week on the planet because they were quite peckish on the details of their partnership with the republic.

Once that was done he got another chance at deciphering _The Plan_. Anakin's ship the was tasked with picking Obi-Wan up on their way to Atzerri and drop him on Taris so he could join his own troops. Anakin's ship itself was on a supply run, seeing as it had been the closest ship to Atzerri.

Long story short, Obi-Wan now again had the chance to get his investigations along.

(Of course he could have also just asked Anakin or Ahsoka but he didn't think they'd give him any information. Which was only the case when they started. Now that their plan is actually coming along it doesn't matter who knows. It is on the HoloNet after all.)

It was during lunch though when Obi-Wan lost all hopes of figuring out what was going on by himself.

He was in the ship's canteen with Anakin and Ahsoka getting their meals from the counter when it happened.

“The Floor is Lava!”

And the quietness of the canteen was taken over by the frantic movements of everyone around Obi-Wan. Somewhere in the background he heard someone counting down from 5 but that wasn't the confusing bit.

“**Five**!”

The confusing part was Ahsoka climbed right on the counter, narrowly avoiding their food trays, while Anakin jumped onto the recycler. They weren't the only ones.

“**Four**!”

All around Obi-Wan clones hoped onto chairs, tables, recyclers – basically everything you could stand on.

“**Three**!”

“Obi-Wan, quick! Jump on a table!” Ahsoka shouted.

“**Two**!”

“Quick!”

But Obi-Wan couldn't make heads nor tails of the situation. He just stood there perplexed as the last number of the countdown echoed through the room.

“**One**!”

“Alright, everyone survived,” Obi-Wan heard from the other side of the room where Jesse stood with a HoloCam, “well except for the General but I'm not sure. Is he part of the game?”

“Well now not anymore.”

It was Anakin that answered as everyone slowly came down from wherever they stood.

“What?”

“Sorry Master, Ahsoka did tell you to jump on a table,” Anakin said but didn't sound all that sorry.

“Nice try by the way, Jesse!” Ahsoka shouted across the room with a grin. “Next time though you should go for a smaller space with less surfaces! Makes everything a bit funnier.”

“Will do, Commander! I'll get you next time!” the clone grinned back and joined his comrades.

Alright, that was it. Now that he knew that even the clones were involved in the plan, Obi-Wan didn't want to find it out himself anymore.

“Anakin or Ahsoka, I actually don't care who answers but, what in forces name is going on?”

“Finally, we thought you would never ask,” Ahsoka exclaimed as she picked up her food tray and steered the elder Jedi towards one of the free tables. Anakin followed close by, balancing his and Obi-Wan's tray on his hands.

“Anakin and I opened a HoloTube channel.”

“Of course you did,” Obi-Wan said with a resigned sigh and let himself fall onto a chair. That would also explain the HoloCam.

“Yeah and you see there are these things called Vines. Or Memes. Or both. They are practically the same,” she continued while starting on her lunch. “Anyway, they are like short little videos where people do completely random and mostly funny stuff.”

Obi-Wan knew in what direction this was going and he wasn't sure if he liked it.

“Let me guess, you're also doing those _Vines_?” Seriously, what even was that word? “That's why you opened a HoloTube Channel, right?”

Both Anakin and Ahsoka nodded, busy shoveling food down their throats. Sometimes Obi-Wan thought the two of them were raised by animals. Anakin didn't even swallow before speaking, how uncivilized.

“Yes, Ahsoka had the idea and I quite enjoy it,” he finally swallowed. “It's nice to focus on something else besides war and death and everything serious and just have some fun.”

“Alright.”

“We also think that- wait? Did you just say 'Alright'? We prepared like a whole speech and everything.”

The two of them were visibly perplexed by the Jedi Masters quick agreement but honestly, what should he do?

At first Obi-Wan had feared that they were just being irresponsible but he understood their wish for normalcy. The two of them were still so young and if there was anything Obi-Wan could do he would make sure that they wouldn't be touched by war any further.

Anakin liked fighting and the thrill of battles because he was an adrenaline junkie not because he actually enjoyed war. Obi-Wan had noticed the toll it had taken on him to constantly keep on going despite his troops or innocent people dying all the time.

Add to that the fact that Anakin never really had the option of actually growing into his role as a Jedi Knight.

Being knighted, made a Jedi General in the grand army and being appointed a Padawan, all within the first two weeks after the first battle on Geonosis. Obi-Wan knew how it felt to suddenly be responsible for so many things. It wasn't any different then his situation back when Qui-Gon died.  
  


So yes, Obi-Wan did not have anything against them having fun. As long as no one was getting hurt that is.

“What do you take us for, Master? We would never do anything dangerous,” Anakin retorted as if he were innocence in person.

Oh dear, hopefully he didn't make the wrong decision. Obi-Wan could already hear Mace's annoyance.

* * *

With Obi-Wan's blessing the game continued on for weeks and each time the situations got more ridiculous.

One time the _Chosen One_ for the day caused a commotion in one of the ships hallways. There weren't many places to save yourself from the impending Lava. Still, you had to leave it to Anakin's troops when it came to creativity.

The saved themselves by jumping on cupboards with minimal space between the top and the ceiling, doing a split to hold themselves over the ground of a door clinging onto pipes or simply using one of their own as a human sacrifice. It was all very amusing.

On one occasion, when they were escorting Yoda to an off world mission, the old Jedi Master joined one such session without even being told what was going on. When Tup shouted the command Yoda did not hesitate and did a handstand on top of his walking stick to escape the imagined Lava.

Turns out that Yoda is a big fan of Ahsoka and Anakin's HoloNet channel. Who would have thought?

* * *

After several weeks of the game dragging on only Ahsoka and Anakin were left and it was soon to be over. In fact it was today, almost one month after the start of the challenge, that there would be a winner.

They are currently on the way to their next mission and had only a few more hours left until their arrival. Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, Anakin and the usual crew were on the bridge, discussion their arrival and all things surrounding it, when the door opened and-

“The floor is Lava!”

Fives had entered the bridge, a HoloCam in hand, ready to record the result.

“**Five**!”

Anakin didn't have much time to think.

“**Four**!”

He just followed his instinct and jumped on the comm station, making the clones working there jump. 

“**Three**!”

From the corner of his eye he saw Ahsoka making use of Heavy's trick of holding onto a pipe.

Anakin was almost sure that there would be no winner today as well and even though he wanted to win he was secretly glad the game would go on. It was just too much fun.

“**Two**!”

Suddenly and without warning Anakin felt a hard push to his back and as if in slow motion Anakin fell from the comm station. Anakin's reflexes had just out and about left the ship, so perplexed was he.

“**One**!”

And with the final count Anakin landed on the hard steel floor as silence spread over the bridge. For a few seconds no one said a thing and then the whole room broke out in cheers. One overpowering the other clearly.

“Oh yes! I won!” Ahsoka cheered as she let go of the pipe. “Take that Skyguy! I told you I would win! And now burn!”

Anakin got up with an annoyed groan and threw an accusing finger towards his Padawan.

“You cheated! The use of the force isn't allowed!”

“I didn't use the force,” the Togruta defended herself but couldn't help the grin spreading on her lips, “You're just crappy at holding your balance.”

“You used the force to tip me off!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Nu uh!”

“Yeah uh!”

“She's right though,” Obi-Wan's voice clinked itself into the argument, “how could she have pushed you in the back when she was clinging onto the pipes with both her hands?”

“I don't know but-

wait a minute, how do _you_ know something pushed me in the back?”

Anakin's thoughts were running on high speed and it almost felt like running against a wall once his thoughts came up with a conclusion.

“You pushed me?”

“Maybe.”

“You betrayed me! Why?”

“Oh you know exactly why,” Obi-Wan answered with a smug grin, delighted at Anakin's predicament.

Anakin did not disappoint and came to the answer himself.

“Hoth.”

“Besides I didn't want to listen to your boasting.”

“Wow, betrayed by your own Master, that is bitter Skyguy!” Ahsoka laughed with delight and Anakin couldn't help the contentment spreading in his body at Obi-Wan's reminder.

His Padawan deserved to be happy. The last battle on Hoth had taken a big toll on the young girls mind taking away almost all of her quirky essence. If it was Anakin's demise that would finally put a smile back on her face, then he could overlook the betrayal.

Obi-Wan winked at him, while Ahsoka cheered and preened in the background. Anakin knew it was the elders plan all along. Still he didn't know how he felt about being betrayed like that.

“I hate you,” Anakin threw at the older Jedis head without any malice. Just to be sure Anakin also sent a positive wave of emotions along their bond. He could never seriously hate his master.

Obi-Wan got it and sent a wave of reassurance back at Anakin, making sure that the younger knew that he would always have his back.

“Doesn't change the fact that you lost, and now burn!”

Anakin played along to the rules and in his most dramatic fashion he pretended to slowly be devoured by the flames of the imagined lava to the great delight of everyone around them. Ahsoka's laugh was the loudest and Anakin decided that he would gladly burn a thousand times over again to hear Ahsoka's happiness.

The HoloNet as well was more than delighted at the mighty Jedi's predicament and the clicks of their little channel rose into the hundreds over night.


	4. Bacta Tanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short but this just wouldn't leave my head XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and thank you very much for all the lovely comments and Kudos, they are very much appreciated and keep up my moral ^w^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwAajOtfNT8 (The Vine I was referring to)

It had been a hard fought battle but ultimately they had all managed to make it back to Coruscant in one piece. A very tired and hurt piece, but still in one piece.

During an all out raging war that was all one could hope for. Especially Obi-Wan and Anakin had managed to get themselves more hurt then others with their daring stupidity. Their luck that Ahsoka was there to haul their asses out of the burning shipwreck before another explosion hit them. Not that it was anything out of the ordinary. Seriously, sometimes Ahsoka considered herself the Master and Anakin and Obi-Wan Padawans, what with their recklessness. She had to save their sorry asses out of dangerous situations every second day – of course Ahsoka let out the fact that it was her that needed saving every third day but who cares, right?

Currently she was making her way towards the temples healing facilities after a much needed nap. After waking up from that, boredom set in. That was the negative side of fighting in a war, the downtime. It sounded horrible. Not properly enjoying the break and instead wishing to be out there, seeking action. Others would be happy about not having to be on the battlefield. Probably one of the things she had to thank Anakin for. She was adapting more and more of her masters mannerisms and personality every day that it was almost scary.

Anyway that's how she got thinking and it was always dangerous when Ahsoka started thinking when bored. That's how '_MayTheVineBeWithYou_' started after all. Said Channel though gave her something to do. It was annoying that Anakin, her Partner in Crime, was currently residing in the healers ward and would not be able to work on another idea for their channel.

In search of such an idea she strode through the temple with her HoloCam – a generous gift from one of their greatest followers Senator Padmé Amidala – towards the healing ward where Anakin and Obi-Wan were currently being held hostage in seperate bacta tanks. Maybe there she'd get the inspiration and now would you look at that: The moment Ahsoka stepped into the room she was hit by an idea.

Quickly she checked for any healers that might scold her and set up her HoloCam, directing it so that it would only show Anakin and Obi-Wan's faces. Their bodies were still severely damaged and therefore did not have a place on their channel. Their faces were still pretty though.

Once everything was set up properly she pressed record and sung, in a high pitched kind of mocking voice, “Two bro's chilling in a bacta tank, five feet apart 'cause they're not gay!”

The video was a hit in minutes within it's upload and it took almost three weeks before either Anakin or Obi-Wan discovered it, which was bordering on a miracle. It was still worth the angry scolding she got, about privacy and such. Served them right for always getting her to save them and endanger her life. Maybe next time they'd think about the consequences before acting.


	5. General Kenobi!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin is stuck in med-bay and Ahsoka tries to cheer her master up.

It was a well known fact throughout the GAR that General Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master and famed Negotiator, had a wide selection of enemies. The same as everyone else fighting in a war of this scale. There was one enemy of Obi-Wan's though that stood out. Said Enemy was non other than General Grievous.

Now, while he was a respectable opponent and fierce warrior – despite his habit of running away the moment he's facing certain defeat – and none of the troopers wanted to get in his way, their meeting was always a thing of great amusement to everyone nearby. Especially the initial meetings of Obi-Wan and Grievous:

Obi-Wan being all classy and cunning, greeting Grievous with a simple, “Hello there" which was usually followed by Grievous' hacking voice retorting, “General Kenobi”.

It wasn't all that funny the first time but once everyone noticed that this was a recurring pattern of the two, almost like warming up, it was considered the height of comedy among the clones. You couldn't fault them for it though. It was a bleak time they had been thrown into right now and one had to derive their amusement from simple things. Things like your General and his enemy having the same ritual every time they met.

Ahsoka had seen it a few times as well and didn't think much of it until the fateful day she witnessed something else.

They were facing General Grievous, Obi-Wan with his usual “Hello there”, and Grievous' smug sounding “General Kenobi”. This time though his words where instantly followed by him readying his four arms and igniting a lightsaber in each claw, before rotating them in his typical fighting style. 

Once Grievous had managed to escape – _what a surprise_ – and they were back at the _Resolute_ it came to her. The muses were singing, carrying ideas of great delight to her ear and she didn't waste any time in fleshing out the idea, as well as roping two members of the 501st into her plan. Together with Fives and Jesse and an assortment of brooms she made her way towards the infirmary, where her Master was recovering from a broken leg.

Now it was general knowledge that Anakin was - just like his master before him – a nightmare for the infirmary.

The first few days of being admitted to it he normally played by the rules in hopes of being released early for good behavior. The healers had spent many a breath, explaining to him that they were_ not_ a prison and that he would leave the infirmary when his body was ready for it, _not_ because he was being a good boy. That usually fell on deaf ears and Anakin would advance to stage two, once he notices that the healers wouldn't let him go.

_Stage two_ contained heavy complaints and a lot of grumbling about everyone and their mother being against him.

Noticing that this as well would not help with his release, he advanced to _stage three_ which was to pretend that he was perfectly fine with the situation. Maybe if he talked himself into believing it wasn't so bad, it would come true.

Of course it did not help and Anakin moves on to _stage four_. At this stage he'd test his bodies limits when no one was looking and trying to get out of the infirmary himself. Usually that would end in him over stressing his body and just prolonging his stay in the infirmary. It had gotten so bad that there was usually always some droid watching him at this stage.

Resigning himself to his fate after getting a stern talking off from the healers he'd advance to _stage five_ in which he'd return to generally being miserable and making everyone's lives harder with his constant nagging until he was finally released.

He was currently on _stage five_ and Ahsoka wanted to bring the mood up a bit. He'd usually do the same for her. Whenever she was admitted to the healing ward Anakin would be there to spend time with her and make the boring days of the infirmary a bit more bearable. Of course only when he had the time and wasn't being held up by missions or other responsibilities. Other than that he'd always be there for her, so she wanted to do something for him.

Therefore the three of them were striding into the infirmary at the moment. Anakin was looking like three days rain but lightened up when he saw their faces. Sometimes her master resembled more a child than a mighty Jedi Knight

Ahsoka came over to tell him all about their mission, not answering his questions about Jesse and Fives presence, who mysteriously disappeared behind one of the privacy curtains. When she came to the part of Obi-Wan's confrontation with Grievous she gave a short whistle and they could hear a series of sounds, containing clanging of Armour and whispered curses before they went still.

“Right so,” Ahsoka continued getting up and grabbed the broom standing next to Anakin's bed, “we come into the room, filled with droids and Grievous standing with his back towards us, yeah?” The young Padawan moved in front of Anakin's bed and grabbed the broom handle like she would her Lightsaber. “And Master Obi-Wan is coming to a stop, smug satisfaction practically written on his face and says, _Hello there_,” here she drops her voice into a bad imitation of Obi-Wan's voice. Anakin thinks it's hilarious. He's never seen one of those encounters before.

It gets better though, because just as she had spoken her final word Fives and Jesse came out form behind the curtain, Fives carrying Jesse piggy-back style, and heard them say in unison, “_General Kenobi_,” before awkwardly rotating the way too long brooms in a mimic of General Grievous. The whole thing was so bizarre that Anakin couldn't help himself but to break down laughing. Even Ahsoka, Fives and Jesse couldn't stay in character any longer and joined him in his laughing fit. It was a welcome relieve from Anakin's otherwise bleak day and again he thought that his troops were the best ones out there and he would gladly go through hell and back for every single one of them.

Anakin definitely wasn't the only one having a good laugh. Ahsoka and a few other clones had put together a mash-up of them doing variations of what Anakin had just seen, and put it on their HoloNet channel. There was of course the classic that one of the clones managed to tape during another encounter with General Grievous. After that there was the normal version that they had shown to Anakin and then came _the variations_.

In one instance they had replaced the brooms with baguettes and decided on doing everything with an accent, while in another one they had three clones on top of each other with a total of six brooms spinning in their hands – they had accidentally hit poor Tup with one of them. There was also one instance where Ahsoka equipped R2-D2 with four lighters.

It was all very amusing and even a few of the other Jedi Masters commented on it, like Master Plo Koon and Ayla Secura. On one honorable mention, even Yoda and Quinlan Vos participated in the act and made it onto the video. Obi-Wan himself wasn't even mad and greatly enjoyed every second of it.

Meanwhile on the HoloNet, their Channel gained more and more followers and ultimately came closer to their goal of lighting up this bleak and serious war.


	6. Stubborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan are too stubborn for their own good.

If there was one thing every person in the 501st and 212th knew it's the fact that their Jedi Generals were stubborn. Especially when it came to injuries. No matter what the severity of it they'd keep on going. Heck they would probably keep on fighting after loosing an arm or even both legs. They'd rather jump off another cliff than going to get those wounds treated if there was still work to do.

Of course if those same injuries occurred to anyone else they'd insist on sending them to the infirmary. Ahsoka was quite annoyed by that. Especially because they wouldn't admit to their own stubbornness if asked. Therefore Ahsoka needed to collect evidence. Because let's be real, the supposedly more experienced Jedi were more prone to injuries than the Padawan and that was just ridiculous. Top that with the fact that they liked to make a big circle around the infirmary and that was just plain annoying. And unhealthy. Seriously, she wanted to keep those two idiots as long as possible but they didn't really contribute to that part.

So Ahsoka was roping every Clone into her plan of filming those discussions. Every clone had been given a HoloCam - courtesy of Padmé Amidala, their biggest fan – for their Channel anyway so why not use it to aid her.

The first piece of evidence was collected by Cody who was supporting a seriously limping Obi-Wan. The duo, accompanied by a handful of additional troopers, had just come back from rescuing their General from Grievous' clutches. If asked Obi-Wan would be happy to note that he had the situation under control and would have made it out there himself. Eventually.

Anakin was there as well obviously fussing over his masters health like the mother hen he secretly was. And a total hypocrite for even suggesting Obi-Wan go to the infirmary when he himself would have been reluctant to even step in a hundred meter radius of the ward. Hence the following discussion:

“Really, Anakin, there was no harm done,” Obi-Wan exclaimed exasperated, already dislodging his arm from around Cody's shoulder, no doubt proving that he was completely fine.

In his best dead-pan copy of Obi-Wan's no nonsense voice, Anakin replied with a raised eyebrow, “They broke seven of your ribs and fractured your clavicle.” And, from what Ahsoka had learnt later on, a sever concussion.

“Yes but I got off several cunning remarks, which no doubt did irreversible damage to Grievous' ego.” As if that was a good enough reason.

“Obi-Wan, this isn't funny, please get a check up.”

Ahsoka had to actually smile at Obi-Wan's counter argument. “I'm being serious, Anakin. My body will be fine on it's own. But the damage I did to them will last a lifetime.”

The argument went on like this until Cody and Waxer interrupted by bodily dragging Obi-Wan towards the Med-bay.

See? _Stubborn fucking idiot_.

In retrospect Ahsoka had to relent a bit of blame on Obi-Wan. Most of the time, when he was not suffering from any head injuries, he was being a reasonable person about his health. There was usually only minimal complaining.

The actual problem was Anakin, as proven by a conversation Jesse had caught on camera after a fierce battle with Ventress. It went like this:

“You need to see a healer.”

Anakin ever the stubborn fool he is retorted, “I need to check up on-”

“I'm not above dragging you there myself,” Obi-Wan threatened but seeing as that fell on deaf ears he gentled his tone again. “Anakin please, this is serious...”

“I'm sorry, is this _OUR_ stab wound? I think not, stay out of it!”

His dramatic exit was destroyed as Anakin keeled over not two steps later. Needles to say that moment became the source of great delight amongst the Clones and even the occasional Jedi, Mace Windu one of those.

Another example occurred about three months later. They were just finishing up collecting their troops and the occasional injured villager after saving their town from a battalion of battle droids. The Video came from Fives and was a picture perfect example for Anakin's stubbornness.

Anakin, Rex and a couple of other troopers were gathered around a HoloTable discussing further measures to keep the town's sovereignty when Rex noticed it.

“Sir, is that blood on your arm?” All eyes rested upon their General looking at where Rex was looking at a steadily growing patch of darkness growing on Anakin's shoulder. To be fair it wasn't quite noticeable because of the red fabric of his robe.

Anakin looked at the spot as well and answered in a perfectly innocent tone, “No?”

“That was not a question you are supposed to answer with another question, General,” Rex answered completely nonplussed by his Generals antics by now. Anakin's only saving grace was the fact that the wound was actually not serious and could be dealt with later. Still it took some damn idiocy to actually deny their injury.

With all this evidence - and even more to come - Ahsoka wasn't exactly sure they'd make it to the end of this war. Don't get her wrong, Ahsoka was sure Obi-Wan and Anakin would bring about the end of the war and then perish because of their own stubbornness.


	7. Rock-Paper-Scissor or something like that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Anakin take decisions very seriously ... or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I'm not exactly happy with this chapter but I saw a prompt about this and just had to write it. It's not actually a Vine or anything ^^'   
I still hope you'll like it ^w^

“Alright so I'll go over the wall with my squad to draw the droids attention on us while you and your troops go around the wall to-”

“Wait, what?” Anakin interrupted Obi-Wan's speech with a huff. “You want us to do the boring job of deactivating the shield generators?”

Ahsoka who was not far from the brewing storm quickly nudged Rex in the side to draw his attention. “Put your HoloCam on, this will be good,” she whispered with a grin and heard the telltale ping of the cam turning on.

“Yes, I don't see where your problem is,” Obi-Wan answered with his typical nonchalance.

“My problem is that you get to do the fun stuff and we're stuck-”

“It's a bloody war Anakin, it's not meant to be fun.”

“You know that's not what I mean!”

“I'm not sure I do,” the Jedi Master answered stemming one hand into his hip. To Ahsoka it was clear that Obi-Wan knew what Anakin meant, otherwise he wouldn't be so adamant about letting Anakin take care of the shield generators. After all, Obi-Wan was just as much of an adrenaline junkie as Anakin. He was just better at hiding it behind a mask of indifference. “What I do know is that you're being unreasonable. _I'M_ going over the wall _YOU'RE_ going around the back.”

“No Master _I'M_ going over.”

“I'm not having this discussion now Anakin. We have to prepare-”

“Rock-Paper-Scissor!” Anakin exclaimed as last resort a mischievous smile gracing his lips effectively catching Obi-Wan's attention.

This was exactly what Ahsoka wanted to capture on video. From time to time when Obi-Wan and Anakin were sent on the same mission and they needed to split up it usually ended in an argument over who got to do what. At one point Anakin suggested Rock-Paper-Scissor as a means to an end. Turns out Obi-Wan likes a challenge, who would have thought...

“Best out of three gets to go over the wall.”

Obviously Obi-Wan made a big show of thinking about it just for the heck of it. Eventually though he agreed with a nod and the two contestants got ready, one hand in front creating a flat surface while the other rested enclosed in a fist on top.

“_Rock-Paper-Scissor shoot!_” They exclaimed in unison before displaying their hands. Anakin with a finger gun while Obi-Wan gave a thumbs up.

“The _Lightsaber_ is always superior to a _Blaster_, Anakin,” Obi-Wan answered smug. Anakin on the other hand just rolled his eyes and got ready for the next round.

Now a little digression: Of course the normal _Rock-Paper-Scissor_ got boring after the first two times of it's use. Therefore everyone stuck their head together to create new weapons for the game. So far they added _Lightsaber_, _Blaster_, _Attack Cruiser_ and _Kryat Dragon _to the mix and it was a total delight. Sure it took them the better part of a day to figure out the workings of what is beaten by what and such but it was worth it.

“_Rock-Paper-Scissor shoot!_”

Obi-Wan presented a perfect triangle with his hands whereas Anakin held his flat hand out with a laugh. “Oh well, _paperwork_ always confuses the hell out of members on _Attack Cruiser_.”

“_Rock-Paper-Scissor shoot!_”

This time it was Anakin who signaled the _Lightsaber_ therefore defeating Obi-Wan's _Scissors_.

"Best 5 out of 7?" Obi-Wan proposed with fire in his eyes. He would not go down easily. Of course Anakin wouldn't be Anakin if he were not rising up to the challenge. “Eager to be thoroughly beaten?”

“In your dreams. _Rock-Paper-Scissor shoot!_”

Lightning fast Obi-Wan jumped into the game by badly imitating the maw of a _Kryat Drago_n with his hand which was met by Anakin's _Attack Cruiser_ a clear win for Obi-Wan. Everyone agreed that a Kryat Dragon onboard _any_ ship would not end well.

Meanwhile the attention of the room was drawn in completely by the match.

“_Rock-Paper-Scissor shoot!_”

“We've already got 20 Credits in the pot,” Rex muttered from Ahsoka's right.

Whenever the two Generals had one of their "showdowns" it was quickly spread among the whole battalion of Clones a lot of them eager to place bets.

“Ha ha! _Lightsaber_ demolishes _Attack Cruiser_,” Obi-Wan exclaimed triumphantly.

“40 Credits against Anakin,” Ahsoka whispered to Rex, their bookmaker.

“I heard that!” Apparently she wasn't silent enough. “_Rock-Paper-Scissor shoot!_

See, _Kryat Dragon_ eats _Paper_! You'll lose your money Snips!”

“It's not over yet. _Rock-Paper-Scissor shoot!_

Oh Anakin, there is still a lot you have to learn. _Blaster_ destroys _Rock_!”

And this back and forth continued on for a whole of fifteen minutes. For every point one made the other got one in the next round and they quickly reached the conclusion that 5 out of 7 wasn't enough to determine a winner. Therefore it continued on until they'd reached the final goal: _Best 10 out of 19_. This was the final one and there would be no “let's do best 11 out of 21” or such. They had all learnt their lesson after one game escalated into Best 25 out of 49. That was one _hell_ of an afternoon.

Currently the scores were even -not really a surprise there. This would decide who got to have all the action. The betting pot was now up to 350 Credits, everyone around the ship waiting for the final results.

With the air hanging heavy around them, Obi-Wan and Anakin gave one final shout of “_Rock-Paper-Scissor shoot_” before displaying their chosen weapons.

* * *

“This makes no sense,” Obi-Wan grumbled as they traversed through the forest. “How does _Rock_ defeat _Paper_?”

A deep groan resonated from Obi-Wan's right hand side. “Oh my gods, get over it Master, you can't negotiate with a rock.”

“I NEGOTIATE WITH YOU DON'T I?”


	8. ..., like my soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a while ^^'
> 
> I hope you're all doing well and just wanted to drop of this quick little thing. It really isn't much and I'm not too proud of it but I still thought it was funny. Also because this is tagged ad Crack no one can actually complain about the quality of it ;D 
> 
> Anyway I'm glad that so many of you like this little collection and wanted to say thank you for all of your lovely comments!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjff1ul1HGc (Here's the Vine I used as referrence)

On a beautiful Thursday morning – Coruscant time – the 2 Million subscribers of “_MayTheVineBeWithYou_” received notification on a new video that had been uploaded to the channel. Said Video went like this:

In the middle of it was Padawan Ahsoka Tano with a cup of Caf in her hand. The Commander took a sip before exclaiming, “This Caf is bitter, like my soul.”

Then a cut followed and you saw Ahsoka standing in front of a closet saying, “I need something Black, like my soul.”

Scene number three showed Ahsoka in the middle of a snowy field in a thick coat with a fur lined hood saying, “Damn it's cold, like my soul.”

It was quite amusing and everyone had a bit of a giggle but non of the hysterics that followed with the arrival of a second video later that day. It had the same setup as the previous video but this time with some little extras:

The first part stayed the same. One room with Ahsoka Tano in the middle while taking a sip of Caf. But after her “_This Caf is bitter, like my soul_” bit you could hear Anakin Skywalker's darker voice laughing in the background.

“Your soul is as bitter as milk, Snips.” Sadly the video was cut off before one could hear Ahsoka's reply, most probably because it displayed some non-yedi-like behaviour.

Next up was the closet scene. Again it started like the one in the first video but with the addition of Obi-Wan Kenobi commenting with, “I'm not sure they have bright black.” It had people all around the galaxy in stitches because it was said in such a dry matter-of-fact voice that Ahsoka's outraged at being interrupted again was completely ignored.

Last but not least the viewers could see Ahsoka Tano standing admits the snow covered field again, complaining about the coldness of the planet despite her thick coat. Just like with the other two scenes she got interrupted. This time by Clone Captain Rex who added in a straight monotone, “shouldn't you be running in a shirt then, Commander” after her whole “_Damn it's cold, like my soul_” thing.

It was absolutely hilarious and over night gained about 500.000 views. Ahsoka couldn't even be mad at Anakin for uploading the uncut version of it because well to be honest, it was kind of funny.


	9. Stunt it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Clones are done with only having side roles!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn guys, I really wouldn't have thought that this stupid something got so popular ^^'  
It was actually only somethingstupid to keep me from getting writers block but if you like it so much that's a win-win situation, right? 
> 
> Anyway, thank you all sooooooooooooooooooooooo very much for your support! Have fun! <3
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDIpGz_eN2g (Here's the Vine I was referring to)

Today's video was something different. Instead of a video opening with either Ahsoka or Anakin and some stupid thing they've done it's just a black screen. There is also a voice doing a very bad impression of someone voicing a movie trailer. The voice could be Ahsoka's but at the same time not. It was comically deep and sounded like someone was trying way too hard to sound like death. Only every few words there's a crack and the true owner of the voice comes through. Anyway, the voice was dramatic and the message went something like this:

“Viewers of _MayTheVineBeWithYou_ have had a lot of fun in the past thanks to two extraordinary Jedi but now a _new_ force enters the channel! A _force_ that has resided in the shadows for too long and only ever acted as props or in very minor roles. _Not anymore though._ This cycle, be prepared for _FIRE_,” a crappily animated fire appeared, “_EXPLOSIONS_,” a couple of tiny explosions surrounded the fire, “NECK BREAKING ACTION and,” here the voice went into a flat deadpan, “idiocracy of the kind only men could come up with.”

And the screen faded back to black. Not for long though.

Only a couple of seconds later it cut to the front of a ship at the loading bay being loaded with stuff. Then suddenly, running down from the ships loading ramp came a Clone Trooper – who Ahsoka would identify as _Fives_ later on – in full armour. When he reached the bottom of the ramp, he kept on running towards one of the crates standing around and with one gangly jump Fives landed on top of it before jumping down with a vertical spin of his body. Once back on his legs he did another turn and shouted, “Life's to short! Stunt it!” while very maturely pointing finger guns at the camera.

The video didn't stop there. It immediately cut to the next scene, this time outside in some kind of forest. It's close to night time and you can see a couple of tents in the distance as well as another Clone Trooper in front of the camera. For the viewers he might have been the same as before but Ahsoka knew it to be _Hardcase_. Hardcase ran up a small hill did a jump and threw a stick against another tree shouting, “BOOM”. Later on Anakin added one of the crappy explosions from the beginning.

The next scene took place near some kind of stone wall on some kind of desert planet. Trooper number three – identified as _Echo_ – took a running start and leapt at the wall. He climbed a few meters high before jumping down again shouting “Danger” at the camera.

Last but not least it cut to a wide open field with a Clone Trooper – _Heavy_ – doing a a very bad somersault on purpose before getting up again, the camera closing in on his face and the video ended with him exclaiming, “Life's too short! Stunt it!”

After that the Clones were a fan favourite.


	10. M-3DR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan is a tired dad who's not paid enough for this bullshit...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones short, like really short but I had a lot of fun writing it, simply because when I saw the Vine I imagined Anakin in it and it was so damn funny XD 
> 
> I hope you like it as well <3
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmZmzIKASpI (This is the Vine I'm referring to and now tell me this isn't something Anakin would do XD)

The TeamTM was currently inspecting the leftovers of what had once been a small separatist base. After rescuing hundreds of hostages held captive there Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan were currently checking for any interesting stuff that has been left behind by the Separatists. Not that their hopes were big to begin with seeing as the base had been empty for a good year already. With the added damage they had created in the fight against the terrorist group that held the natives hostage even more information had been destroyed. But it could never hurt and it wasn't like they had anything better to do. The terrorists had been handed over to the reigning government while the natives returned home to their families and friends. None of them were really hurt, just a bit banged and shaken up.

So here they were now, together with Boomer and Flash, inspecting a great hall which was probably used to store weapons. As expected there was nothing interesting to see and definitely no weapons left. Ahsoka was just about to enter a new corridor when she suddenly heard her Master coo, “Hey there little guy.”

Looking to her left she found Anakin picking up what looked to be a small, black mouse droid. The droid had definitely seen better days but it was still moving weakly.

“Poor thing, what did they do to you?” Anakin asked with something akin to parental judgmental in his voice. Sensing a potential video for their channel Ahsoka quickly hurried over to Boomer who was closest, and told him in a whisper to film Anakin. Not one to question Ahsoka's genius Boomer did as he was told and together with Flash who'd noticed their secret planning, they watched as the scene unfolded. And boy was it hilarious.

“Don't worry little one, once were back in my cabin I'll fix you up and you'll be as good as new,” Anakin said, more to himself but Ahsoka watched as Obi-Wan had apparently picked up some of it.

“You're not really planning on taking it back to the ship, right?”

“Of course I am,” Anakin replied a tad bit petulance slipping into his voice. “I mean, look at it. It clearly needs some attention.”

“Anakin...” Obi-Wan said in his exasperated dad voice.

“What? It's not dangerous or anything. And I'm sure R2 would love a new friend.”

“Doesn't change the fact that it's a separatist droid. And not exactly a useful one...”

“I can program it to be useful!”

“Anakin I'm not having this discussion with you. Put the droid away!”

But Anakin was having none of it. Instead of listening he just clutched the tiny droid tighter to his chest, dropped one the ground with his back first and shouted, “You can't make me do _Anything_!”

And just like that, still on his back, Anakin slid across the floor away into the next corridor to the hollering laughter of Ahsoka, Flash and Boomer.

Obi-Wan just looked 500% done as he rubbed his hands over his face mumbling “I'm too old for this...”

The video was an all time favorite on their channel and quickly secured itself a spot on the list of most viewed videos. The comment section was also full of worried users who wanted to know what happened to the little mouse droid. To assuage everyone's concerns Ahsoka updated the description about two days later stating that yes, Anakin did not listen to Obi-Wan and brought the droid home with him. M-3DR was fixed and becoming close friends with R2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know mouse droids melt in case they were captured by the enemy but I needed something small so let's just say it had a malfunction and thus didn't know it was supposed to destroy itself....


	11. Time's an illusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of this one working I went with the headcanon that Anakin never moved out of his quarters with Obi-Wan after his knighting and now they live there together with Ahsoka, because I love my fam as close together as possible ;D 
> 
> Have fun!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkQrQYow-eA (here's the Vine I'm referring to)

Back from a long campaign to recapture _Agomar_ after it fell into separatist hands, The TeamTM is finally back the the Jedi temple for some well deserved R&R.

It was so rare nowadays to sleep in an actual bed in her actual room that Ahsoka was reluctant to wake up in the first place. Even more so because it was fuck o'clock in the morning. But something had woken her, just like the past few nights.

For some reason or another one of her two roommates has spent the past days getting up well into the night and doing god knows what in the kitchen. Ahsoka's money was on Anakin probably getting some midnight snack. He wasn't even being that noisy it's just that Ahsoka had the hearing of a Bat. What was annoying though was the fact that whenever Ahsoka talked to Anakin about it he vehemently denies it for whatever reason. Seriously she just wanted to shout at someone for constantly tearing her from sweet oblivion, was that to much to ask for?

She'd put an end to it today though and expose Anakin to the whole HoloNet as punishment because apparently her Master was embarrassed by his midnight habit. Before going to bed this evening Ahsoka had placed a HoloCam next to her bed just in case it happens again. Grabbing said HoloCam Ahsoka got up and out the door on silent feet while turning the cam on. She could hear the creaking of what had to be a chair or something and the dull clatter of a plate being put down.

Arriving at the kitchen Ahsoka did not give her Master any time to hide the evidence and quickly turned on the lights. _Bad Idea_... the light was way to bright for her darkness adjusted eyes. Same for the other person in the room if his groan was anything to go by and it gave her pause. That was not Anakin.

Forcing her eyes open despite the angry glare of the kitchen light Ahsoka's eyes caught onto the hunched over form of her Grandmaster Obi-Wan. Well if that wasn't a revelation. Ahsoka couldn't quite believe her eyes. There in front of her on – yes _on_ \- the table sat the great Obi-Wan Kenobi staring back at Ahsoka through pinched eyes with a sandwich halfway on it's path to Obi-Wan's mouth. They blinked at each other both trying to figure out if the other was maybe just an illusion, but no.

“It's 4 in the morning...” Ahsoka stated as a matter of fact.

Obi-Wan on the other hand just kept squinting at her, “Good thing that time's an illusion.” And promptly took a bit from the sandwich.

Ahsoka wasn't quite sure what to do with this information and just decided to deal with it later in the morning.

“Just be quiet, please,” she answered and turned to leave the room.

“Turn the light off again...”

Being to tired to question the request Ahsoka just did as she was asked and the kitchen was swallowed by darkness again. Just as she stepped out of the kitchen Obi-Wan threw a silent “Thank you” after her and well that was the solution of the curious night noises.

Oddly enough Obi-Wan was not present in the morning at breakfast. When Ahsoka eventually caught her Grandmaster, he denied his involvement in the incident, even though Ahsoka had caught him on video. Obi-Wan steadfastly ignored it's existence. Anakin thought it hilarious and so did their fans.


	12. Of Eyebrows and Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mace and Ahsoka bond over Anakin's eyebrows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJKF9E0XGd4

Ahsoka was just coming back from a refreshing sparring session with Master Windu - and no she was not forced to do that. It was actually her idea. After all this time spent on missions and going along with all of her Masters neck-breaking schemes she wanted to test how far her skills had advanced. And no she couldn't do that with Anakin or even Obi-Wan. They knew her too well and she in turn knew them too well. Everything was just a bit predictable and not at all what Ahsoka was looking for.

In her quest to find a suitable partner Ahsoka stumbled upon Master Windu who was teaching a group of Younglings some basic forms. One thing lead to another and Ahsoka got talked into demonstrating a few of those forms in an actual fight against Windu. Ahsoka may have gotten her ass handed back to her but it had been an overall pleasant fight. She managed to get out all the nervous energy from spending too much time away from the front lines and impress some Younglings as well as Master Windu. At their pleading Ahsoka stayed for the rest of the lesson and helped Windu correct the Younglings forms. Overall a very rewarding lesson and it even got her a couple words of praise from Master Windu for her improved skills. That on itself managed to strengthened her believe that she was secretly one of Master Windu's favourite Padawans at the temple despite all of his grumbling. Ahsoka just knew that by the time she got into Knighthood she and Mace would be best friends. The Jedi Master won't even know what hit him.

Okay, time to get back to the main program because that was even better.

Ahsoka was just about to wrap up the video she was currently recording for their channel - nothing special, just a little update on life - when she entered their apartment. Good thing she kept the cam rolling because what she found in the middle of the living room was too good to not capture it on tape for all eternity (How had she ended up with two of the strangest Jedi's of all time? Seriously, first Obi-Wan and now Anakin? What even was her life?). Stopping in her tracks and slowly turning the camera around to face the sofa she asked, “What the hell are you doing?”

Anakin who was lazing about the sofa did not turn from his task to acknowledge Ahsoka and kept a steady grip on the massive wall mirror he held upright on his lap. In the most matter of fact voice he replied, “I'm doing my eyebrows.” 

And because her Master obviously didn't realize the absurdness of the situation she felt the need to point out the obvious in just as much of a deadpan as Anakin. “That's a big ass mirror...”

“I have big ass eyebrows!” Anakin exclaimed without missing a beat and Ahsoka could just see the eye roll reflected upon said big ass mirror.

The video ended with Ahsoka's confused, “Where did you even get that?”

The next time Ahsoka happened upon Master Windu the elder Jedi could not suppress to leave a comment along the lines of '_Tell your Master that It's not becoming of a Jedi to fret about their big ass eyebrows..._'

Forget what Ahsoka said about becoming friends with Master Windu after her Knighting. Apparently they already were best buddies because _Mace._ _Fucking. Windu_ was watching their videos!


End file.
